打开心结

摘要：整个烦恼业习的稀释过程，就像把一杯味道很浓的苦咖啡放到河里，这杯咖啡的味道就淡了；放到大海里呢，连苦味都没有了。

不管是夫妻还是朋友，之所以闹矛盾，实际就是把一些问题焦点化了、个人化了、情绪化了。这些问题往往都是些小问题，但天天盯在自己身上、盯在他人身上，斤斤计较，很不舒展——谁动了我的自尊心了，谁动了我那一点利害关系了等等。天天那样盯着这些问题，人就活得憋气，积累得多了都放在心里，拧在一起成了心结。

那我们怎么才能打开这些心结呢？

对自身的问题不要一带而过，可以焦点化——专注自己的心念，才能将它放大、看清。这个专注就是等持。这样容易去反思、觉悟，自己的烦恼习气就容易处理。

对他人的问题，要把它淡化、稀释，广大、久远地去看，把它社会属性化。就是说他人的问题是这个时代的人共有的，先这样去稀释处理一次，他人的问题就没那么尖锐了；再把它放到“业无所属”上进行稀释。实际这个业无所属就是任何人的烦恼业习都是无有实质的，没有自性的。不能说我的习惯没有自性，别人的习惯有自性啊！也不能说这好的习惯有自性，坏的习惯就没有自性。业无所属指的是一切烦恼业习。

我们要了解这个业无所属，就能对所有的问题一笑了之了。要不然你不敢笑，像攻击我、伤害我，怎么能笑呢？笑不起来了——还是有属性了！我们把他人的问题无限稀释，就能回入空性。整个烦恼业习的稀释过程，就像把一杯味道很浓的苦咖啡放到河里，这杯咖啡的味道就淡了；放到大海里呢，连苦味都没有了。

学习这些方法最主要是希望大家“平时能用得上”，对自身心里的举心动念能细致入微、严格要求，对他人的问题能宽容理解。这样不仅能把心结打开，内心的繁荣也会逐渐地呈现出来。

～～生命之光阳光早餐

Untangling Our Mental Knots

The reason why couples or friends have issues with each other is that they focus too much on the problem,making it personal and getting emotional about the situation. These issues are often trivialin nature but sincewetend to focus so much on ourselves, we lose some useful objectivity.This is especially so when we indulge ourselves in petty concerns like who hurt our pride or who harms our interest.These concerns suffocate us and as they accumulate in our mind, they turn into a knot.

How can we untangle these knots?

Focusing on our mind so as to observe it clearly, with acuity. This attention in essence is non-duality. With this focus, we shall find it easier to practice self-reflection, to obtainenlightenment and to deal with all sorts of habits and troubles.

On the other hand, we should try to put other people’s problems into perspective so they look less intensive or acute from a broadened and long-term point of view. We should attribute these problems to the society at large –that is to say, we should see those problems asbeing commonly shared by most in our generation. Let us first of all begin to untangleother people’s problems so they are less acute. Then we dilute the problems in the context of ‘Karma does not belong to any one, “ which means none of our habitual thoughts have an essential substance or essence. We cannot say that my habits do not have essence while others do; nor can we say that bad habits don’t while good habits do. Karma not having essence applies to every habit.

If we understand the saying that there is no essence in Karma, we can just laugh off any problem.Otherwise we cannot. “I am attacked”, “I am hurt”— how possible can people laugh while they attach essence to these problems? Let us dilute others’problems infinitein order tocome back to emptiness. This whole process of dilution can be compared to pouring a cup of bitter coffee into a pond of water. The taste of coffee gets weak and if pouring it into a lake we can’t even taste a bit of bitterness.

I share these methods with an intention of inviting you to practice it on a daily basis. If we can strictly observe our mind with great detailand treat others with broadness and tolerance, we will be able to untangle those knots in mind and our inner prosperity will demonstrate itself.