为何善意表达却让自他不悦

摘要：不是嘴巴上说没有对错，而是真正在事相上、在心灵上受到了洗礼，看到干净的本质了。

我们生活中经常做一些事情让别人不舒服或者让自己不舒服，哪怕对别人的一个善意的表达，如果没有把握好，都可能让自己及他人产生烦恼。

这其实是我们染识的心中执着了一个道理、执着了一个方法、一个认识，总想跟别人表达。这就造成了染识的一个残留，形成了烦恼与制约，令自己的心与他人不得愉快喜悦。

虽然知道它，但还是在污染着自己。忏悔，就是特别有作用的一个作意、有意识的一个作为。忏悔就是洗除的意思，这是一个非常重要的环节！没有心灵的忏悔，就没有还得清净、安乐的这样一个过程。不是嘴巴上说没有对错，而是真正在事相上、在心灵上受到了洗礼，对错对自己来说真没有价值了，看到干净的本质了。

真正从染污的心中走出来，把滞在心中与冲击他人的东西应该做一个忏悔，应该做一个表达、一种忏意。这种悔意，就会令自心回到本来清净上来。

Why Does a Kind Expression Make Ourselves and Others Unhappy?

We often do something in our daily life to make other people or ourselves uncomfortable. Sometimes, even a kind expression can annoy others and upset ourselves when we fail to deliver it in a proper way.

This is because we hold onto a theory, a method, or a conception in our contaminated consciousness and always want to talk about it to other people. As a result, this creates residue in our contaminated consciousness, which causes troubles and restrictions in our lives and makes us and others unhappy.

Even though we know the theory,the method or the conception, we have still been staining ourselves. Confession is an intentional mindful engagement or a conscious act that is especially effective. Confession is to wash away, which is a very crucial step. Without confession from inside, we will lose the opportunity of regaining purity, peace and happiness. Confession is not just to say that there is neither right nor wrong, but to accept the purification inside and outside. There is no value in either right or wrong when we see the purity of their nature.

In order to walk out from the contaminated consciousness, we should make a confession or an expression about what still remains in our hearts or what has hurt others. This regret will let our hearts return to the inherent purity.

【Editor’s Note from Robin】
While following our Master Cifa and learning Buddhism from him, very often I cannot help being moved by his targeted instructions and benefit a lot from them. Now, with a sincerely offering heart for you my fellow practitioners, I’d like to try as much as I can to share his instructions with all of you that I have recorded and sorted out. They each mainly are about how to observe some problem we notice from a specific angle in our everyday life, and I hope that we can learn by analog to observe and enlighten our whole life, so as, according to dharma, to arouse us to start using the inherent pure Buddha-nature as our wonderful arising condition, and make our life to be more beautiful, richer and more colorful.