心外求与内省

摘要：我们往往只在乎外在的缘，比如土壤、阳光等等都是外缘。在外缘上再用功夫，那也只是个外在的缘，没有内在的种子是长不出来果实的。所以内在的种子最为关键。

力所能及地做事，就不会造成压力，不会带来被迫、被动等等的感受。我们在缺乏协调的情况下，单方面以“为他人好”的名义来要求别人时，往往会做自己不能承担的事情，或者说给予别人的并非别人所需，这样经常就会感到负累、委屈，很容易产生埋怨、责怪等等。

实际“要求别人”只是个习惯，就是不满的习惯。我们现在大部分人都有这种习惯，而且这个习惯特别重。要是从心外寻求解决“不满”的方法，是处理不掉的。

珍惜、知足、感恩是主动的，是自觉、内省产生的结果。而埋怨、责怪、不满则是被动外求的。被动外求本身就是不满，它的根源是不满。只要有埋怨、责怪了，不管是什么理由，肯定是内心有不满的东西了。不满，实际就是失心了——失去了自心的主动。这一点要看得很清晰。

我们单方面的要求，实际来源于内心贪求的东西多，或者说认为自身不拥有、自身不具足，所以才会心外贪求，而不从内在的种子上去用功夫。所谓的种子，就是指内因。如果内心有个感恩知足的种子，人就会感到平衡。内心有埋怨、责怪，不满的习惯就会表现出来。

我们往往只在乎外在的缘，比如土壤、阳光等等都是外缘。在外缘上再用功夫，那也只是个外在的缘，没有内在的种子是长不出来果实的。所以内在的种子最为关键。

中国人有句话：知足常乐。实际知足常乐就是个感恩心，是从内在心理上解决问题。要是不从自身解决问题，就会责怪别人，以致相互责怪。这样若在家庭中，家庭就会很苦，责怪会把家人和自己都弄得很苦。

要求别人实际是个很辛苦的东西。我们对别人过多的要求往往会导致对方的不满，当对方埋怨、指责我们时，我们就会不知所措。在这个时代，埋怨、责怪、不满真不是具体的某一个人的问题，而是非常普遍的现象。实际要处理这个问题很简单，对内心的种子择取一下就行了。主动择取是在自身用功，很简单；外求，很被动。

有种子，才能开花结果。我们内心如果有感恩的种子，结果必然是感恩；种子是知足，结果肯定是知足；种子是珍惜，结果肯定是珍惜。反过来，种子是责怪，结果就是责怪。相互的指责、不满、轻视、轻蔑，这些也都是种子。是什么种子，就结什么果！

我们对内心的种子有了认知，明白种子是什么就结什么果，这样理解就简单了。事情的结果是由我们的内在种子决定的。

Looking outside or inside?

When we do something within our power, we can carry it out without pressure or without forcing ourselves. But we often attempt to do what is beyond our power when we demand something from people “for their own good” or when we offer help that they do not necessarily need. This is the reason why we often feel burdened or wronged. As a result, it is very likely that we complain or blame others.

As a matter of fact, demanding from others is just a habit, a habit of being dissatisfied. Most of us have this habit, a deep-rooted one. We cannot break it if we look for a solution from outside our heart.

It is an active behavior to cherish, be content or be grateful with what we have now, which is the fruit of self-awareness and introspection; whereas it is a passive one to complain, blame or be discontented, which is looking for a solution outside our heart. Being passive means we are discontent in our heart. So long as we complain or blame others, whatever the reason is, there must be some discontent in our heart. Discontent means your heart is lost – your heart is no longer active. We should be clear about it.

Our unilateral demands are a result of the greed in our heart, or from the idea that we ourselves don’t intrinsically possess everything. That’s why we turn for help to the outside instead of the inside, which is the seed. The so-called seed is the internal cause. If we have a grateful and content seed inside our heart, we will feel well balanced. Whereas if we have complaint or blaming inside our heart, the habit of discontent will arise.

We tend to turn all our attention to the external conditions, such as soil, sunlight, etc. The external cause is only an external cause. No matter how hard we try, it cannot bear fruit without seed, the internal cause. That’s why it is the internal cause, the seed that matters most.

We Chinese often say: happiness lies in contentment. Actually, contentment means a grateful heart, which enables us to solve problems from inside; otherwise we only blame others. When it happens in a family, the family members suffer a lot from it.

Demanding from others is strenuous because it leads to their discontent. When, in turn, they complain about or blame us, we will be at loss. Nowadays, complaint, blaming, discontent are common phenomena rather than only happen to some particular person. It’s easy to solve this problem by choosing the seed inside our heart. Choosing from inside is very easy, whereas seeking outside is very passive.

Trees cannot blossom and bear fruits without seeds. A seed of gratitude in our heart guarantees the fruits of gratitude; a seed of contentment in our heart guarantees the fruits of contentment; a seed of cherishing in our heart guarantees the fruits of cherishing. Similarly, a seed of blaming, discontent, or contempt in our heart guarantees respectively the fruits of blaming, discontent, or contempt. You harvest what you sow.

Now we come to understand the importance of the seed inside our heart: we harvest what we sow and the result is predetermined by the seed inside our heart.