观矛盾 断烦恼

摘要：实际上，是我们的矛盾状态造成了自我的烦恼，因为没有把矛盾的来源看清或处理干净。

我们常生烦恼来源于三个矛盾——前后矛盾、大小矛盾、自我矛盾。变化，带来了前后矛盾；得失利害，带来了大小矛盾；内心的复杂与交织，带来了自我矛盾。

“这个人太坏了！”那开始见面时怎么不觉得这个人坏呢？“这个人很讨厌！”那为什么一开始不觉得他讨厌呢？实际上，是我们的矛盾状态造成了自我的烦恼。因为没有把矛盾的来源看清或处理干净，自己就开始烦躁起来，之后又把烦躁推给了别人，认为烦恼是别人给带来的。这样就开始自损损他，造成了大家都烦恼，家庭岀现不和睦，朋友关系、社会和单位关系也不好。

当这些烦恼岀现时，一定要审视自己的内心世界——内心的恒定与安稳是否失去了？调整自心，回到简单与美好上来，把简单与美好投放于世间，投放于任何一个变化的事相上，把真实的心变得纯真起来。

举个由变化带来的前后矛盾的例子。夫妻之间在恋爱期，相互很尊重又彼此爱护，但有了孩子之后或者女人变老了等等的一些变化，导致感情也随着发生变化。之前的爱经过长期相处后会变成怨，变化造成了前后矛盾。其实，前后矛盾存在的同时，大小矛盾、自我矛盾也同时并存着，夫妻相处的过程中内心的复杂与交织、利害关系都会渗杂于其中。

那我们了解了这一点，就可以清晰地去调整它，守护相互的感恩与尊重。若有阶段性的变化需要，完全可以在尊重的基础上去协商、调整现缘，而不是否定过去，怨恨现在。

Observe the Contradictions to Cease the Arising of Anxieties

Our constant worries arise from three contradictions – inconsistency, comparison, and self-contradiction. Change creates inconsistency. Gain and loss brings comparison. And complexity and interweaving of mind causes self-contradiction.

‘What an awful person!’ — How come we didn’t feel that way when we first met him. ‘He is so annoying!’ — Why didn’t we find him so bothering at first sight? As a matter of fact, it is our contradictory status that causes our troubles. Because of failing to recognize the origin of the contradictions and coping with them completely, we have already started to feel anxious. We then pass the buck to others, accusing them to bring the anxiety. In this way, we start to hurt both ourselves and other people. The end result is that everyone is afflicted by the created gaps among families, friends, colleagues and other social members.

When these anxieties appear, we must look into our heart to see whether we have lost our stability and peace or not. We need to adjust our heart back to simplicity and beauty and then project them to the world and to each of the changing phenomena, thus we can have our true heart returning to purity.

Let ‘s make an example of how change brings inconsistency. When in love, couples normally respect and care about each other. But after they experience some changes such as the wife getting older or having kids, their feelings might have changed. Love turns into complaints after living together for a long time. The changes cause inconsistency. In fact, when the inconsistency arises, comparison and self-contradiction will come along as well. During the period of couples’ living together, complexity and interweaving of their minds, gain and loss will also mix together.

Once we realize this, we can start to adjust the situation clearly by keeping the mutual gratefulness and respect consciously. If a change needs to be made because of different phases of life, we can negotiate with each other and adjust the current issue on the basis of mutual respect, rather than deny the past or resent the present.

【Editor’s Note from Robin】
While following our Master Cifa and learning Buddhism from him, very often I cannot help being moved by his targeted instructions and benefit a lot from them. Now, with a sincerely offering heart for you my fellow practitioners, I’d like to try as much as I can to share his instructions with all of you that I have recorded and sorted out. They each mainly are about how to observe some problem we notice from a specific angle in our everyday life, and I hope that we can learn by analog to observe and enlighten our whole life, so as, according to dharma, to arouse us to start using the inherent pure Buddha-nature as our wonderful arising condition, and make our life to be more beautiful, richer and more colorful.