摘要:做事准备充分的人会带来安稳与秩序,凑合则会带来莫名的杂乱。了解、掌握这些内容,会给我们的生活带来极大的方便和支持。
衣食住行是我们生活的内容。有的人感觉生活很有意思,丰富多彩;有的人感觉生活烦恼、无聊,有莫名其妙的委屈、悲观;还有的人是二者交织的状态。
在现实的人际交往中,我们通过观察可以发现,那些把事情准备充分的人,会让人感受到他们的意乐、对生活的热爱、为人处事的恒常性,令人愉悦欢喜;而每件事都凑合着过的人往往不积极、不阳光、令人不愉快,他们易变,无法与人长久相处。
这些状态都是生活中的常态,是生活的习惯所带来的。做事准备充分的人会带来安稳与秩序,凑合则会带来莫名的杂乱。了解、掌握这些内容,会给我们的生活带来极大的方便和支持。
我们生活中出现的莫名其妙的烦恼,很多时候说不清、道不明,也很少有人看得清晰。大家在一起做事时,不管是在经济、物质、感情、环境的配备上,还是在约定上,只要任何一方面没准备好或者没交代清晰,相互之间就会推测、想象、闹别扭。因为每个人的思想意识都不同,一个人很难通过推测、想象去了解和满足他人的需要。我们往往会把自己认为好的东西给予他人,而不知这并非对方的需要,此时误解、委屈就会产生。
真诚、如实的交流和沟通是清晰的状态,能消除误解,因为这本身就是一种尊重。我们在相互尊重的基础上去协商、去约定、去作为,而不是陷入自己单方面的思想意识中,事情就会变得简单明了。不清晰、凑合,这些似是而非的状态会令我们进入一个黑洞,把自己滞留在一个狭小、局限的空间里。
我们如果学会在生活中不对付、不凑合,从事情的因地上下功夫,结果一定不是凑合的。生活本来就是由一个个细小的事情组成,对每件事准备充分了再去作为,事情的过程与结果就清晰、明了,日子就会过得安稳、健康、有序。
其实大多数人的生活都不缺什么,衣食住行的条件都有,但就是日子过得太敷衍、太潦草。吃饭、穿衣无需奢侈,但最起码要不对付。比如有家庭或者过集体生活的人经常在一起做饭、吃饭,如果菜的口味、搭配、分量等等准备得不充分,大家就会有亏欠、不满,但又碍于情面,不去表达或者表现谦让。这其实就是把问题隐藏起来,不去解决。久而久之,就会有莫名的不舒服、别扭,就会心生烦恼。
准备充分是个约定。我们对环境的、感情的、物质的层面有个清晰的约定,就会尊重自己,也会尊重别人。即使有时候在物质上没有充分的准备,也要在心理方面,比如在平和、随顺、感恩方面做好准备。我们学会、掌握了这些准备,生活就会主动、明了、丰富起来。反之,如果生活出现莫名的杂乱,我们就该反思、调整了。
Are you ready?
Clothing, food, shelter and means of traveling are the four basic needs of our daily life. Some people feel their life is interesting and colourful while others feel worried, bored, pessimistic, or resentful. Some other people may experience a mix of all this.
On the one hand, through observing the real world of interpersonal relationship, we may notice that these people who are well prepared to deal with life are normally happier, love their life, are more and more persistent in getting along with people or anything they do. And these people make others blissful and happy. On the other hand, people who do everything only to have things done are pessimistic, gloomy, unpleasant, changeable and are not able to get along with people for long-term relationship.
All of these things are normal living habits and behaviours. Well prepared people offer stability and order to their surroundings, while people who improvise often spread disorder and confusion. To understand and know how to put these theories into practice in such matters bring people great convenience and support.
We often fail to figure out how and why those worries occurred in our life and very few of us can see it clearly. When people work together whether it be on the economic, material, emotional or environmental plan or about an agreement, they tend to mutually speculate, imagine, or act against one another. That is because we all have our own unique mindset and it is hard to imagine and satisfy the needs of others. Usually, misunderstanding or grievances happen when we tend to give something that we think is good to others but we actually fail to be aware that it is not what is needed.
Therefore, sincere and truthful communication insures a clearer situation, eliminate misunderstandings and displays much respect.We should negotiate and reach agreement and act on a basis of mutual respect and things will then become clearer and simpler instead of indulging into self-centred thinking. Such states of mind, lacking clarity and self-centredness, will lead us into darkness and strand us in a narrow and confined space.
If we learn to deal with things carefully and pay more attention to the origins of these limitations, the outcome will not meet inadequacy. Life is composed of single trivial matters. If people get ready for anything, day to day life will become safer, healthier and stable.
As a matter of fact, most people do not lack anything in life and are usually well equipped. The point is that most of us are just too sloppy and hasty in our lives. We do not need luxury taste in matters of clothing or eating, but at least we should not deal with these carelessly. Anyone who has a family or live in a community often eats or cooks together and some may feel unsatisfied about the taste of food, the portions or the arrangement. But everyone gets upsets and feels reluctant to express themselves. And because of the fear of hurting other people feelings and try to be polite, in fact, they are just hiding the problems and leaving them unresolved. When time goes by, inexplicable discomfort, upsetting thoughts and worries will occur.
We have to be prepared to a clear commitment about the environmental, the emotional and material needs in order to respect ourselves and others. Even when people are not fully materially ready, they still need to get psychologically ready by remaining calm and peaceful inside, open-minded and thankful.Once we master the skill and methods to be prepared, we are able to take initiative in life, we become resourceful and light. Otherwise, we should think it over and make some adjustments.
Sunshine Breakfast
《斐济日报》原文链接:http://newcloudfto.fijitimes.com/story.aspx?ref=archive&id=425322
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