摘要：美国有个电影叫《阿甘正传》，阿甘是个智商很低的孩子，他的妈妈一直在歌赞他，从来不说不，就是不管怎么地，她都在赞叹自己的孩子。所以积极的、正面向上的引导很重要。
牵挂孩子、牵挂老公、牵挂妈妈，实际都是一样的亲情牵挂。对亲人的牵挂，这个地方实际是个特别大的问题，会产生很多麻烦的事。我们对孩子的牵挂、对亲人的牵挂，一般是负面心理造成的，很少是正面的东西。就是不好的记忆——变成负面的东西。好比说亲人身体不健康、年龄大了，或者说孩子调皮，或者说家人不会照顾自己，都是负面的记忆，就是心理记忆都是负面、不好的东西。“哎呀，儿子啊，家人啊……”，看似我们心里并没有坏意，完全都是为对方好，但它会形成一个最麻烦的东西。这是一个特别糟糕的事情。
很多人缺乏歌赞，实际像印度文明、巴比伦文明、埃及文明，包括过去欧洲罗马，歌赞的东西多。而我们的这个“牵挂”，言说出来的、心念的东西都是这样一个特别不好的结果——负面的引导。因为一个言说、心念，它会造成一种力量、作用。好比你挖个坑，人才会跳坑里，对吧？没有这个坑，人永远不会跳里面。我们不断地往那个负面想、说的时间，就会造成一个事实。
可能这个事过去曾经发生过，被折照出来了，也可能看到别人或自己曾经发生过，我们留下不好的记忆，附加在自己的亲人身上。这是特别不好的东西。人在这里不断地用劲儿，越牵挂，这个力量越大，这是一种暗示。
美国有个电影叫《阿甘正传》，阿甘是个智商很低的孩子，他的妈妈不管，说我的儿子比别人的儿子不差，我儿子行！结果她儿子不管参军、不管做什么都是最优秀的。实际她儿子是个智商很低、很迟钝的孩子。读书是读不成的，但他打橄榄球行，为啥呢？他跑得快，他就有他独特的一面。他的妈妈一直在歌赞他，从来不说不，就是不管怎么地，她都在赞叹自己的孩子。所以积极的、正面向上的引导很重要。
对任何一件事情，我们都可以把它分为境、念、行、果四个过程来拉大空间认识、调整。心念上的调整是关键，若不积极调整、主动运用，我们就会被业、被因缘所制约，就会带来烦恼困惑。这个调整就是主动作为的一个方式，主动让生命变得积极、有意义，使我们走出制约、困惑。
Worrying is a pitfall, while blessing is a fortune(part one)
Worrying about children, husband and mother are all family concerns that can create serious headaches. Our worries concerning family members are mainly caused by negative psychology, rarely by positive one. Bad memories have turned into negative effects. For example, our family members can get sick or old and may not be able to take care of themselves, or else, kids are too naughty. All of the above are negative imprints, that is to say, psychology memories are full of negative things. Although we worry for the sake of our family members and with apparently no bad intentions, these bad memories will still come out as big trouble.
Most people rarely sing praises in their life. In fact, many songs of praise exist in Indian civilization, Babylonian civilization, Egyptian civilization and in ancient Rome. Our worries, however, whether we speak out or just think of them, will have negative effects – leading to bad outcomes, since each of our words and thoughts has a power and therefore has an impact on the people we worry about. It is like that you dig a pit into which others may jump. If there is no pit, no one will jump. If we keep saying or thinking in a negative way, we will create a corresponding result.
Events may have happened in the past and only impact us now, or we may have seen things happening to us or others before, leaving us with bad memories. And we now connect them to our family members. This is particularly harmful since the more we worry, the bigger the power. Worrying is a kind of psychological suggestion.
In the film “Forrest Gump”, the eponymous character is a slow-witted child, while no matter what people think about him, his mother keeps repeating that her son is as good and excellent as any other. As a result, her son turns out to be the best whether in the army or in other fields. Actually Forrest Gump is slow with a low intelligence quotient. He may not be good at reading, but he is good at football because he is a talent fast runner. His outstanding running ability makes him a top player in his football team. His mother always praises him, never says“he cannot”. Whatever happens, she praises her child all the time. From the film, we can tell that the positive guidance in the direction of others is very important.
For any single event, we can widen the space to better recognise and adjust it by dividing it into four stages: the object (or situation), the thought (the mind), the action (or behaviour) and the result. Mind is the key to adjust. If we don’t adjust or use our mind actively, we will be restricted by our habits as well as the cause and conditions, opening the door to annoyance and confusion. Adjusting is to act proactively, make our life more positive and meaningful, and allow us to overcome all constraints and confusion.
Sunshine Breakfast
《斐济日报》原文链接：http://newcloudfto.fijitimes.com/story.aspx?ref=archive&id=439290
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