摘要：牵挂亲人实际是要去支持他，要把这个牵挂调整成祝福他、赞叹他。这是真正地支持、积极地支持，而不是负面的言说、负面的心念。
事相上的问题比较好处理，它是物化的东西，比较具象；思想性的问题太抽象。牵挂的问题就很抽象，这实际是思想动态，在“念”上调整，这个是关键。
牵挂是负作用，那不如我们去赞美。比如对于母亲，“我母亲养育了我，她所有做的都是好的”，这你完全可以做得到的。那我们平时可以为她的饮食、健康去付出，提供一些支持，但绝对不用这种负面情绪来牵挂。这是真正地支持、积极地支持，而不是这种负面的言说、负面的心念。尤其是妈妈、家长这一类的亲人都会对孩子有这种负面的心念与言说，这会给孩子带来很大的伤害。
牵挂亲人实际是要去支持他，要把这个牵挂调整成祝福他、赞叹他。祝福、赞美母亲，赞美孩子。对亲人之间的负面暗示与倾向，我们要来积极地调整它，把它转换成一个预设的积极状态。赞美、祝福，就是增加福德，它有积极、正向引导的力量，有这种倾向。负面的东西来了，有不好的倾向，再来个东西、来个力量，“啪”就倒过去了。那我们祝福呢？也都是个倾向，一来力量，我们就往福德的因缘上去作为了。这一点对我们的人生来说太重要了。
如果有时候我们在事上真是没办法帮助到别人的时候，我们心里可以祝福别人。心里的祝福不能丢掉，积极、正面的心灵的东西永远不能丢，即便有个负面的情绪，通过调整，反而有机会让生活更加舒展、积极、阳光。
Worrying is a pitfall, while blessing is a fortune (part two)
It is easier to deal with problems on the phenomenal level, for they are materialized and concrete, while it is not easy to solve problems on the mental level, say worrying, for they are abstract and reflect the dynamic state of our minds. So, adjusting the mind is the key in the latter case.
Now that worrying has side effects, why don’t we praise instead? For example, we can praise our mothers, “My mum brought me up, so everything she did is good”. We can all do it. In everyday life, we can also provide support to our mothers by taking care of her diet and health, rather than use negative emotions to worry about her. This is a true, positive support.Family members, especially the mother or the head of a household, tends to think and comment negatively on their kids. This hurts their kids badly.
If we really worry about our family members, what we should do is to support them by changing our worrying into blessing and praising. Bless and praise our mothers and children! The negative suggestions and inclinations towards our family members must be actively converted into predetermined positive ones. Praising and blessing has the power of positively guiding the direction of others and will increase their fortune. On the contrary, if we have already had a bad inclination towards our family members due to something negative that happened before, another bad thing happens and it could become the last straw. What about blessing? It is also a kind of inclination. When anything comes up, we can always act to praise and bless to increase the fortune of others. This is very important in our lives.
Sometimes although we can’t help others in their situation, we can always bless them in our hearts. We cannot afford to lose blessings and positive state of our minds. Negative emotions may arise, however, adjusting will leave us open to a more relaxed, positive and sunny life.
Sunshine Breakfast
《斐济日报》原文链接：http://newcloudfto.fijitimes.com/story.aspx?ref=archive&id=440160
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